Jennifer P. Toney

Mom or Entrepreneur - You Don't Have to Choose

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Pemo Theodore for a conversation about what it is like to start a company while also raising kids.  Pemo is doing so much to bring attention to gender issues in Venture Capital and entrepreneurship, particularly in technology, that when she asked if I would be willing to do an interview, I did not hesitate.  (The video is embedded below.)

As one of very few female CEOs in tech, getting and keeping women in entrepreneurship and technology is an issue near and dear to my heart.  I certainly do not have all the answers, but I do believe that, if girls have more role models telling them it can be done – that they do not have to give up having children in order to become powerful business women – we can start to “change the ratio,” as Pemo so aptly touts.

But isn’t it hard to be both an excellent mom and an excellent entrepreneur?  Absolutely! But doing both is not twice as hard as doing one or the other.  Here’s why.

If you are the type of [insane] person crazy enough to start a company, you are likely a very driven, highly motivated, super-charged self-starting overachiever who cannot sit still for a single second anyway - type of person.  If you are not up until 4am working on your startup, you will be up until 4am painting stained-glass windows on the fondant-covered graham cracker church, atop your four-year-old’s cityscape birthday cake.  (No, I never did that…ok, maybe.)

The point is, entrepreneurs and super-moms are cut from the same cloth.  If your company is not successful, it will almost never, barring extenuating circumstances, be because you have kids.  It is an oversimplification, I know, but if you want to start a company, do it!  Or, at least don’t let having children be the reason you don’t.  

As I point out in my interview with Pemo, making it work is about being willing to change the model. Erase the lines and redraw them to create a company culture that works for you – and other parents. Just because we immediately get images of four 20-something white guys in a garage when someone says “tech startup” does not mean that that is the only model that can work.  

Whatever you do, do not be your own worst enemy and convince yourself it cannot work before you even get started.  Be creative – intelligently creative - about how and when to get things done and you will likely find that, with some adjustments, you are not working all that much harder than you would be as "just" an entrepreneur or "just" a mom.

 

 

Fourth of July – Then and Now

My memories of Fourth of July are much different than my children’s will be.  I remember being excited at the first sign of the big, black box being set up in the grocery store parking lot.  I could not wait to ride my bike to the firework stand with the money I had saved and set aside just for this purpose. I would spend several minutes debating with myself, calculating the cost versus benefit of going with the big cone, or spending my money on two, smaller ones. Invariably, I chose the latter. Not only did it leave enough money for smoke bombs, my very favorite, it meant the street-side show would last longer, even if only because we had to set up and light one more firework.

In the days ahead, my sister and I would take out the fireworks from their packaging, admire the brightly colored paper, sort them and guess which would be the best. It was a bit of a contest to see who would choose the most spectacular one.

When July 4th came, we would spend the day growing snakes, filling the air with colored sulfur and covering the grass with streamers.  Then, as night fell, we would pull out the hose to the edge of the street, just in case, and fill a bucket with water for the spent firework casings.  My mom would watch from the living room window as we lit the fireworks by ourselves in the middle of the street, and ran back to the curb before (usually) they started sparking. After about 30 minutes, the show would be over, and we would go inside just in time to see the Boston Pops play the 1812 Overture on TV.

It was an exciting break from the everyday routine, one that we looked forward to each year.  I can still remember the disbelief when one year, as the holiday approached, there weren’t any black stands going up.  I thought my mom was joking when she said that a new law had been passed to ban the sale of fireworks within city limits.  I was devastated.  Fourth of July would never be the same.

As an adult, it is odd to me that I lamented the loss of do-it-yourself fireworks as much as I did.  After all, there is a scar on my leg from a runaway Jumping Jack, and another on my arm from an accident on a beach in Japan, where a hanabi jumped off a rock and under my sleeve before exploding.  In that case, I remember walking back to my host family’s home with blood dripping down my arm.  And still, somehow, I sort of miss the fireworks.  Crazy!   

So, it begs the question, knowing what I know now about the dangers of fireworks, if they were available at the corner grocery store, would I let my kids experience this tradition of the past that I loved so much?  Let’s just say, I’m glad I don’t have that option.  I would like to think I am smarter than that with all the data I have read on fireworks-related fires, severe injuries and deaths, but the temptation would be huge. Plus, there is always the thought that “WE would be much safer than THOSE people.”  Not necessarily so, of course.

Many of the fireworks accidents are due to no fault of the user, but are simply flukes or mistakes in manufacturing.  Let us not forget that we are talking about lighting compressed gun powder on fire and counting on the fuse being log enough for us to run away.  What could possibly go wrong?  And something else that bothers me now that I didn’t even think about when I was a kid is all the pollutants emitted.  I do remember my eyes and throat often being sore on July 5th, but it seemed a small price to pay for the fun at the time.  Not something I care for my children to experience, though.

So what are my kids’ memories of the holiday? As I type this post, I turn to my children; one sits to my right practicing Japanese, and the other is behind me playing Wii Fit.  “What do you think of when you think about Fourth of July?”  I ask.  “Getting together with family,” they both quickly respond.   It makes me smile.  And I was worried they were somehow missing out.

Changes Coming - It's about Time!

So, here's the deal.  I stopped putting up blog posts a few months ago because I had (and have) plans for a much more useful and exciting website.  After all, do we really need another blog? Ok, possibly. But my blog is/was, admittedly boring... especially when I don't post new material.  Talk about a self-fulfilled prophesy.  

It isn't like I've been sitting around doing nothing, though. We officially launched Items I Own in February and subsequently launched Simply Check in March. In April we began telling the world we are here.  

With very little marketing effort (thank goodness! given that we are a tech-minded team), traffic is skyrocketing and site visitors are now checking thousands of products for recalls every day!  Check it out.

OH!  Before I forget.  Do you see that facebook widget to the right? PLEASE CLICK LIKE. Muchas gracias, mon amie!  

So, what else has been happening over the past few months?  For one thing, baseball!  My youngest is a baseball fanatic. He plays three seasons a year - trust me, it’s possible.  I often joke that it must be a curse, or bad karma, or something because I have always HATED baseball.  Well, "hate" is a little strong.  How about despised?  It is soooo boring to me.  Way too much time between the action.

I like going to baseball games (when it’s either over 75 degrees or we're in a box), but that is because I spend the whole time chatting with friends.  I could not tell you anything that happened on the field... or diamond... no, wait, you can call it a field, right?

Then who was doing all the cheering (loudly!) from the bleachers this evening?  Oh, right.  Yeah, that was me.  But it was Little League. It's easy to get into the game when your son is playing, and hubby is coaching. 

My older son has been busy, too.  He is our little scientist.  Always building, inventing or experimenting with something.  He kept us busy with Science Fair finals for his work analyzing whether battery or solar can generate more speed for vehicles.  In case you are wondering, he concluded that solar will, once we develop ways to harness the energy efficiently.  Don't worry, he's on it!

And then there is my new baby girl, Velvet.  Sure, she's a Lab puppy, but I swear I love her like the little girl I never had, or close to it anyway. I have never been an animal person per se, so how she wiggled and waggled her way so deeply into my heart, I will never know.

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, my husband continues to be incredibly supportive (or is it tolerable) of all the time and energy WeMakeItSafer takes... away from him.  :-)   He works at a fast-paced tech company himself, so it helps that he is just as busy as I am.

What about the blog changes that are coming soon?

Oh yeah.  That.  Keep your eyes peeled right here. Once the changes are made, you will be magically transported to a new website.  And, it won’t be just me squawking; you'll have a whole new variety of squawkers to read, along with some pretty cool "features," for lack of a better word, epecially for mom entrepreneurs and mommy bloggers.  Intrigued?  Want to get involved?  Email me: jennifer_toney [at] hotmail [dot] com.

 

Featured Posts

Overpublicizing Product Recalls Hurts Consumers	What is in Those Glow Sticks Anyway?	Keeping Teen Drivers Safe
Parent Coaches Take Note – Concussions can be Hard to Spot	Booster Seat Study Prompts Higher Age Requirements	No More Drop-Side Cribs

Learning to Count

"Overheard" is where I post funny little things I hear, usually said by children - my own and my friends'.  It's a good place to start the day for a little chuckle.

A friend of mine is talking with her three-year-old daughter at dinner:

Mom: What comes after 3?

3 y.o.: Timeout.

Overpublicizing Product Recalls Hurts Consumers

This post was originally written for WeMakeItSafer.  You can read it in its entirety on the WeMakeItSafer blog.

It’s a bold statement that needs some qualifying, but the evidence is mounting – over-coverage of product recalls may damage recall effectiveness, putting consumers at greater risk for injury. It is a problem referred to as “recall fatigue,” and it occurs when a consumer quite literally gets tired of hearing about recalls.

With the passing of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) in 2008, the media has covered more and more stories about recalled products.  From bikes to refrigerators, cribs to snowmobiles, we hear news stories every week, if not every day, about something that has been recalled.

One might expect that all this coverage makes consumers more aware of product recalls and, to some extent, that is true.  Consumers are now more aware than ever that there are many, MANY product recalls.  Unfortunately, they also may be growing LESS aware that something they actually own has been recalled as the barrage of messaging causes them to simply stop listening.

Read the full story and learn what can be done about recall fatigue on the WeMakeItSafer blog.

An Astronomical Quiz

"Overheard" is where I post funny little things I hear, usually said by children - my own and my friends'.  It's a good place to start the day for a little chuckle.

In the car one November afternoon; boys in back seat:

Me: Wow it's bright out here. I think I need my sunglasses more in the winter than I do in the summer.  Can either of you tell me why?

Big Boy: The sun is lower in the sky.

Me: Right. Why?

Little Boy: Seriously, Mom. Do you think these questions are hard?

What is in Those Glow Sticks Anyway?

“Mom, mom!  Come quick.  MMMMOOOOOMMMMMM!   Hurry!”  My youngest son is screaming in panic, as I run down the stairs.

“I stepped on a glow stick, the stuff shot up in the air, all over my arm.” 

Ushering him to the sink and flushing his arm with water, I ask, “Does it hurt?” 
“No”
“Does it burn?” 
“No”

What I really wanted to say at that point was, “Then why in the world are you yelling?!”  Instead, I calmly say, “Well, I’m sure they wouldn’t put anything in a kids’ toy that could hurt you.” In reality, I was not so sure.  Even if the manufacturers of this particular product intended to fill it with “safe” chemicals, how do we know that the glow sticks were filled with the intended chemicals?   How do we know this product won’t be on the recall list next week?

Once our son was convinced his arm was neither going to fall off nor glow in the dark for the rest of his life, we set out to clean the carpet, which actually may glow lime-green forever.

The incident made me ask myself, what do I actually know about these chemical filled pieces of plastic I let my children have every Halloween and, on occasion, during other festivities?  Granted, my kids are old enough to not put random objects in their mouths, but clearly these things are not impervious to mishaps, even without teeth involved.

We purchased the thin sticks that could be bent into bracelets at Michael’s, our go-to place for school-project supplies and holiday décor.  The package reads:

    IMPORTANT

• Keep product in original package until ready to use.
• Do not cut or puncture the glow sticks [on purpose].
• Ingredients are non-flammable but may stain clothing or furniture [in the event you ignore the above rule or break the thing.]
• Contact with eyes or skin may cause temporary discomfort.  In case of eyes or skin contact, [scream for you mom, then] rinse thoroughly with water.
• Do not drink or ingest contents. 
• Do not leave glow sticks in direct sunlight or expose to high temperatures. 
• After use, dispose of glow sticks in a refuse container.

A lot of warnings, but no information about what is actually in the sticks.  So, I had to dig a bit deeper. 

According to Discovery’s “How Stuff Works” site, glow sticks are made with Hydrogen Peroxide and Phenyl Oxalate Ester.  The former, of course, is a common, over the counter disinfectant; the latter was a bit more difficult to track down.  It is most commonly referenced for its use in glow sticks, and nothing I found seemed to indicated that the chemical is toxic. Some sites, including a glow sticks manufacturer, do say that the chemicals can cause irritation or allergic reaction in some people. 

Overall, failry benign.  However, I also discovered that not all glow sticks are made the same way.  Some glow sticks are made with Dibutyl Phthalate rather than Phenyl Oxalate Ester.  Dibutyl Phthalate, or DBT is also not considered a poison, but it can cause irritation on contact and has been linked to birth defects  such as those causing problems with male fertility. 

DBT was effectively banned from use in children’s toys in the US in 2009, under Section 108 of the CPSIA. As such, theoretically, we should not have to worry about these chemical in products marketed to children, but I have seen enough recalls to know, it is entirely possible that the CPSC will discover a misuse.  A good reason to make sure your kids are not playing with or using liquid-filled glow products unattended.

Assuming your glow sticks are of the Phenyl Oxalate Ester variety, the bigger concern if they break, is that you could be exposed to shards of glass from the tiny peroxide-filled tubes inside.  Activating the glow requires breaking these tubes to allow the two chemicals to mix and react.  The manufacturers intend for these broken glass pieces to remain safely enclosed in the plastic stick, which they will... until your son steps on them.

So, will I let my children have glow sticks in the future?  Yes, but I will definitely keep these safety tips in mind:

• Only let children use glow sticks intended for children.  If they are marketed as a safety light or camping tool, etc., it is possible that they will contain Dibutyl Phthalate (DBT).
• Do not give any glow products to children under 5 years of age.
• Do not allow the kids to “play” with the glow sticks and jewelry.
• Make sure the glow sticks are picked up and properly disposed when finished.
• Look for high quality glow products that are less likely to rupture.
• If a glow product does split open:
  • Watch out for glass.  Wear gloves to clean up the mess.
  • Run water over the affected skin for several minutes.

Lastly, remember that even the most diligent manufacturers make mistakes.  Make sure you check your glow sticks for recalls, or, you can add them to your Items I Own account and let WeMakeItSafer check and monitor them for you.

After completing my research, I head to my son's room to check in on him.  He is sitting on his floor, glow sticks still all around his room where he had placed them the night before – Dance Party USA style.

“So you didn’t learn a lesson?”  I asked.
“Yeah.  I learned that when there’s a problem you scream, ‘Mom! Mom! Mom!’ really loudly until she comes.”
“Very funny, child. Very funny. Now pick up the glow sticks before you break another one.”

Keeping Teen Drivers Safe

This post was originally written for WeMakeItSafer.  You can read it in its entirety on the WeMakeItSafer blog.

Vehicle accidents are the number one cause of death for teenagers in the United States, killing more than 5,000 youth aged 16 to 20 each year.   Alcohol and not using seat belts are both large contributors to the high number of fatalities.  Cell phone use and being distracted by other youth in the vehicle are also frequently cited.

Read some helpful guildelines for establishing rules for your teenager’s vehicle use on the WeMakeItSafer blog.

Mom is not a Thesaurus

"Overheard" is where I post funny little things I hear, usually said by children - my own and my friends'.  It's a good place to start the day for a little chuckle.

Little Boy is working on his homework at the desk next to mine:

Little Boy:  Mom. What's another word for "after"?

Me: Next, later, subsequently...

Little Boy: It can't have any 'E's.

Me (still working): Do I look like a thesaurus? Why don't you look it up.

(Pause)

Little Boy: Following. Oh man, Mom. You couldn't think of "following"?!